Omnipresent
She comes up behind me
Her translucent form taking shape in the mist
Smelling of sesame oil and ginger
And my neck hairs prickle
Like the fuzz on a rotting kiwi
For I know who she is
Yet I have no name.
Photo by fotografierende on Pexels
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Dominic Alapat
A beautiful and mysterious poem!
Present – Nin Chronicles
[…] By request, a continuation of my poem, Omnipresent. […]
bournemouthgirl
This is so lovely! Definitely could lead to something more.. you’ve left me wanting to know more.
Lauren | http://www.bournemouthgirl.com
nianni
Nice. Short yet descriptive and imaginative.
Melissa Kacar
“my neck hairs prickle like the fuzz on a rotting kiwi” is an incredible line! I love how descriptive this is! Thank you for sharing this! Great post, as always! 🙂
melissakacar.blogspot.com
gabbyabigailll
Oh my, this piece is absolutely beautiful, Jaya. Wow, “my neck hairs prickle
like the fuzz on a rotting kiwi” – love this so much. You should definitely consider continuing this piece.
Jaya Avendel
Thank you so much! I am considering a part two that is good enough to share. 🙂
Ming Qian
Hey Jaya, I read this poem several times before commenting, and your words make me feel all sorts of emotions each time I read it. I didn’t take much notice of the title when I first read it either. When I started to think about the poem together with the title, it took on a different meaning once again. I love it! Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Jaya Avendel
One of my favorite things about titling poems is I can often impart a new meaning on the words, so I love that you felt that!
Subrata Mukherjee
Thought of a genius 👍
Jaya Avendel
Thank you! Made me smile.
Nancy
Mmmm I love the smell of sesame oil, hehe. This is a very interesting piece where you have different sensories tingling. You know what’s going on but can’t put a word to it. This kind of reminds me when I want to say a specific word that I am thinking about, but can’t put a name to it.
Nancy ✨ exquisitely.me
Jaya Avendel
I have this experience so many times; my mind goes blank and it is not until hours later that I think of the word I mean.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!
Jenny in Neverland
This was so atmospheric! Love it 🙂
Chrissy | Minimalist Maximalist
What a hauntingly beautiful piece, Jaya!
I’ve seen a few comments on expanding it and I’m also in agreement! I feel like it can easily turn into a story of some sort. x
Jaya Avendel
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
Lisa's Notebook
Oh my goodness, this was so creepy! Beautiful but chilling – I hope this is the start of something more, Jaya, a short story perhaps? 🙂 Lisa x
Shantanu Baruah
Absolutely gorgeous
Kelly Diane
This gave me chills. Great post
kalliopechasing
Woah. I LOVE this!!
I really feel like this would be a great story or even multiple pieces.
It’s amazing how big of a world you created so quickly.
Jaya Avendel
Thank you! I might have to expand on this piece!
Giulia
Is there more coming?
Jaya Avendel
I do not know yet if I will continue this piece, but I might! 🙂
eob2
Interesting, would be a great lead into a story.
quirkymoms486
Chills! I love this one Jaya! Awesome writing.
FN
ILove this one of yours except since I am not on twitter cannot comment. It’s wonderful and the comparison with the fuzz on a kiwi! Lovely
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