East Coast Swing
We lost them at the village
Ten miles back
Men with bayonets
We took the dog with us
The sheep too
Trotted fast toward the rising blizzard
Only to find our noses
Inches from the boys in blue
And our tails a split end
From the boys in grey.
Photo by Brock Wegner on Unsplash
Inspired by Eugi’s Weekly Prompt: Dance.
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Dominic Alapat
An action packed poem I liked reading!
Je
Trapped between two sets of armies baying for blood as a blizzard rages on. Cornered from every possible side. That’s life sometimes. “We took the dog with us, The sheep too” – interpreted these two lines as hope. Brilliant! This is part poetry and part story that deserves a follow up 🙂
Jaya Avendel
Thank you, Je, for your unique interpretation, especially of that one line!
Nancy
This piece really gave some throwback vibes to centuries past when bayonets are still being used and people having to flee. Love your work as always!
Nancy ✨ mdrnminimalists.com
bloglifewitherica
This piece definitely paints the picture of a battle for me. Civil war to be specific. One of the most interesting wars for me since I live in a area surrounded by the various battles.
xo Erica
Jaya Avendel
Same, Erica! Where are you based? Love that you connected with this.
barbaraleaver
A very visual poem – past revolution? I can also relate the feeling of the poem to present times
Frank @ Beach Walk Reflections
An unexpected stake on the title. Well played.
Jaya Avendel
Thank you, Frank, for your appreciation!
ellegracedeveson
This is beautifully written! I really enjoy reading your pieces, they always touch me. Thank you for sharing Xo
minimallyhan
What beautiful writing! You are incredibly talented!
Eugi’s Weekly Prompt – Dance – Roundup – Eugi's Causerie
[…] East Coast Swing – Nin Chronicles […]
Jodie | That Happy Reader
Such a beautiful piece Jaya! It feels a bit like something relating to the civil war but really speaks to me as contemporary as well. Thanks for sharing!
Melissa Kacar
This is beautifully written! Your description makes it feel so real, I can fully visualize the exact scene and feel the character’s strong emotions in just these 10 lines. Thank you so much for sharing!
Tom
Really interesting story. It feels like a comment on the US Civil War, but also on the perverse intimacy of war in general. Wonderfully provocative in so few lines too!
Jaya Avendel
Thank you, Tom! I wanted this to be more inclusive, so love that you picked up on that.
glowsteady
I got such a strong story from this one. I think this one envokes such a strong feeling that could be applied to so many different situations in life too. Excellent piece x
Unwanted Life
Another great piece. I wish I was unable to condense so much detail in so few words, especially as it’s based on a prompt from someone else
Jaya Avendel
It is tough sometimes to come up with a creative spin! Some days it just comes and other days I build up a nice body of ideas trying to refine the story in front of me. 🙃
Corinne
You get so much across in so little words. A sad but beautiful piece.
Raji (@journeyintofantasy)
Beautifully written, and such an interesting story too!
Keep Calm & Drink Coffee
i image this way of finding colors among the rising blizzard and it give me a sensation of warm hope.
I loved everything: included the picture with butterfly on lug sole, and the prompt dance inspiration which I found a very good idea!
THANKS <3
Jaya Avendel
Thank you so much! I loved weaving different elements together into this piece.
quirkymoms486
What a story! Powerful Jaya! Love how you summed up a telling story in such few words. Thank you for sharing
Lisa's Notebook
Shades of the civil war with the blue and the grey. Such a sad poem, the ordinary folk are always caught in the middle of wars, aren’t they? x
Jaya Avendel
Well put, Lisa!
Kelly Diane
This is a great piece. Despite it being short, it tells such a story.
OneCluelessMum
This sounds like the start of a great novel! Love it and so beautifully written.
Della Driscoll
This is a brilliant short piece of writing and the words are filled with such emotion xx
Merry Sari
So amazing! This one has a great story and as always, I love your work x
-Eugenia
I find it amazing that you wove your intriguing story into poetic form. Brilliantly written! Brava!
Jaya Avendel
Thank you, Eugenia, for another amazing prompt!
-Eugenia
My pleasure, Jaya! 😉
nortoncharity
Oh wow. This was such a great short story. So detailed and wonderfully written as usual!