To Be A Lady
My corset brings me comfort
Molding and shaping me into
What I need to be
Into whom I need to be.
I embrace the freedom
In knowing all that I am is
Mapped and all I
Have to do is live it.
Photo by Rachel Crowe on Unsplash
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Dominic Alapat
Beautiful poem! I love its simplicity and the way it flows!
Giulia
Ahh, I love your pieces that comment on women’s history and issues in society, especially as they spill over in today. As always, this is amazing.
Jaya Avendel
Thank you so much! I deeply enjoyed writing this piece and am delighted in your reading of it.
sunith83
Beautiful. ❤
aimsysantics
What a fab piece! It really does make you think of the standards that have been set for women over the many years with the corset part. How much times have changed! So many different ways to interpret this piece, a corset can be restricting, but at the same time supportive.
On a side note, because I am in a sewing frame of mind, I just can’t help but think about beautiful flowing dresses with a semi-corset structure to them haha!
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Aimsy xoxo
Aimsy’s Antics
Jaya Avendel
Supportive. Yes, I do believe that is half the way I viewed the corset in this piece!
Love your reading of this piece too, especially through your eyes as a seamstress!
TheQuietGirl (Anissa)
My interpretation of this poem is about the pressure and standards that women have to face. Women would wear a tight corset for a small waist because that is deemed “ladylike”? The first two lines sound like a woman accepting her corset and the shape it gives her. Not sure if there’s any freedom with a corset haha but the poem got my brain thinking. Great post!
Jaya Avendel
Love that this piece gave you cause to reflect! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. 🙂
glowsteady
I love the symbolism of the corset, restrictive and somewhat conforming to beauty standards, but also supportive and powerful. But with powder comes an element of freedom and the freedom of the ability to choose to wear it to begin with. There are so many ways to interpret this one, which I love (the comments so far are REALLY interesting).
Jaya Avendel
I love that you read this piece and also reflected over the comments! It is so interesting to see how this writing has been read so differently by people. I love your reading of this; thank you for sharing!
Melissa Kacar
I love the use of symbolism between freedom and corsets – freedom can mean something different for every woman, which is a message you beautifully captured in this poem! Thank you for sharing this!
Nancy
I totally feel you about corsets.. It molds you into what the corset wants you to be. Being out of it feels like freedom though! Great job with this! This piece really draws how women have been portrayed for centuries and we are just starting with getting more freedom with speaking out.
Nancy ✨ mdrnminimalists.com
Anika May
Beautiful words, love the contrast between a corset and reaching freedom!
Anika | chaptersofmay.com
sejal
Lovely poem! I really like your last stanza, and the line “Mapped and all I, Have to do is live it.” really spoke to me. I’m working on worrying less and letting go, so this sentence stood out to me. Thanks for sharing your poem!
Jaya Avendel
Thank you for such a beautiful read!
Tom
I always enjoy satire, especially in this context as it so perfectly encapsulates the issue past generations have faced, and many continue to face in different guises, without be heavy handed
Jaya Avendel
Thank you, Tom! I appreciate delicacy but sometimes honesty is needed too. 🙂
joleisa
Freedom comes come in knowing that we are grounded and exactly where we need to be. Thanks so much for sharing.
Jaya Avendel
😍 Thank you for sharing such a lovely interpretation of freedom!
Keep Calm & Drink Coffee
All we have to do is live it!
Jaya, even a corset, when described by you, becomes something that can be transformed!
Jaya Avendel
🥰 Claudia, your appreciation is so heartening! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Jenny in Neverland
Wow, this is great. I agree with Lisa’s comment above! I really love the symbolism in this one x
cherbelle
Wow. As someone who loves the fact that women know can choose who they want to be and are free to create the lives of their dreams, it was amazing to read a poem that showed the beauty that is sometimes there in not having to make big decisions all the time. There is a certain comfort that one can feel in not having to be the strong, independent woman that is expected of us nowadays. Sometimes it’s okay to fit into your mannequin shell and find freedom in that too.
Jaya Avendel
You read this piece exactly how I felt it writing it! Thank you so much for sharing the ways this poem showed you both sides of the spectrum. 🤩
Lisa's Notebook
So many feelings for this poem, Jaya! Firstly, a reminder that corsets are restricting and therefore I took the view you were being ironic. But then I thought about the hijab, which I guess is the modern equivalent, and that many women say they feel freer underneath their hijbab. And then I thought that yes, a corset supports you as well, so you can literally stand tall. One of my favourites of all your poems I think 🙂
Jaya Avendel
😮 Loving the hijab parallel, Lisa, I never saw that modern reflection writing this. Also love that your reading of this piece changed as you read it. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!
Lucy
Freedom in so many different ways whether in conformity or rebelling, there are choices we make along the way. You expressed that in a way that is poignant and beautiful. I loved these few lines the most:
“My corset brings me comfort
Molding and shaping me into
What I need to be
Into whom I need to be.”
Freedom means different to so many. You can ask a person off the street their version of freedom, while if you ask another, it will be different. Mapped and planned out does not bring hope to some, but for others, that was their freedom. Some freedoms we live in, that we are used to as there hasn’t been anything better to delineate otherwise. Some freedoms we live in, we take for granted. Some freedoms have a cost. Some freedoms we are thankful for and count our blessings each night. In all these ways, there is freedom and the more time progresses, the more freedoms we find. Freedom was not all it was women in the 1800’s and 1900’s, but I would imagine with some, they were content in their life. Perhaps other women wanted more (hello 1920 flappers), and others broke through expectations to get away from the cycle and societal views.
This is brilliantly written placed into the perspective of someone who can be content with their freedom, especially if it is limited, or someone who desires more on the inside but can’t admit that yet. I loved reading this piece, Jaya. It is amazing, it is enjoyable, and it really provides your audience to reflect. <3 <3 Brilliance, my friend. Brilliance.
Jaya Avendel
Lucy, your read of this is as brilliant as the writing! Your final interpretation of this is especially thought provoking.
I do believe that many women loved the lives they had. It was the women who loved choice more that fought to make choice inclusive for all. In a ‘free’ world, perhaps some women still want the freedom they once had or feel there is in living a mapped life.
Thank you for sharing your kind and dimensional thoughts!
Baby Boomer Super Saver
It can be very scary to step outside of societal expectations or even our own comfort zones. The corset is a metaphor, but what happens when the binding becomes too tight? Will we take off our corsets to discover a new role and a new kind of freedom or equality?
Similarly, society has traditionally and preferentially favored men when it comes to work and compensation. Women still lag behind men in pay for the same job. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused more job losses for women than men. The “corset” holding the outdated practice that men should be paid more than women has become too restrictive for the progression of our society.
This may be way off base from what you were thinking when you wrote your poem, but that is what reading it stirred up in me.
Jaya Avendel
I absolutely love the ‘now’ thoughts that this poem stirred in you! Those societal restrictions and outdated practices are a wonderful metaphorical corset. You have given me a new way to read this poem and for that I am grateful. Thank you!
Michele Lee
Metaphorically speaking, I do believe having structure, vs. distraction and chaos, can allow space for creativity. With that said, creativity can follow a chaotic time, when things settle.
writtencasey
Smiling at how people had such strong reactions to freedom and corsets. When worn because you choose to and not because you must to feel good? I’ll go out on a limb and say: they can can be quite a statement of power in certain moments.
Jaya Avendel
This poem to me certainly also tells the story of choice! Love that you felt that too.
Scriberly
I love the last few lines and the overall simplicity and flow of this piece. All we really have to do is live and embrace life as it happens <3
Jaya Avendel
🙃 Artfully expressed!
ivor20
Yes .. !!
“I embrace the freedom
In knowing all that I am is”
barbaraleaver
Freedom has always come at cost especially with women. Your writing makes me feel for the women of late who fought to get voting rights and how now women are fighting to be treated fairly and respectfully.
Giulia
A little disturbing because it’s a reminder there was a time when we didn’t have choices like we do now…we just stuffed ourselves and our lives into a corest and lived how society expected us to. And so much of women’s literature demonstrated how awful that was.
Jaya Avendel
Women’s literature is a big eyeopener to how women experienced the lives they were thrust into and how they fought for change!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Giulia
My pleasure! Such a treat reading your poems.
eob2
Maybe I’m reading this to literally. 🤨 I ask these questions do I need a corset ‘to be a lady’ and it certainly doesn’t map a woman’s life. Unless you are speaking of a time when that defined a lady, however that is unclear.
Jaya Avendel
Thank you for posing your questions! To me this poem means to be that there is a certain freedom in not having to make choices. Women in the time of corsets often had their lives ‘mapped’ for them in terms of marriage and what they could do with their lives. Some lived that life happily. Others wanted a different kind of freedom. Hopefully my writer’s thoughts make sense?
eob2
Thank you for the explanation. I did get the inflection of a bygone era. So my literal interpretation was correct, maybe the title threw me off, because I associated with woman of today. I can be lame in my thinking sometimes. 😅
Jaya Avendel
Never! Writing is open to individual interpretations. My favorite part about writing is discovering how it will be read.
eob2
😊🤗
Silk Cords
I suspect it was meant as irony. Poets are hardly the type to be constrained after all. 😉
Jaya Avendel
😆😆 Love your reading of this! I definitely consider myself free. Writing is freeing, after all.
Ingrid
I don’t like the sound of that type of ‘freedom’ 😬. Great writing and sure to inspire debate!
eob2
I agree.
Jaya Avendel
Freedom means different things to different people, so I love that you share your perspective. This type of freedom, I think, has its advantages and disadvantages, but I prefer the freedom to choose. 🙂
Ingrid
Absolutely! 🙂