How Writing with Empathy Can Help You Become a Better Writer
Writing with empathy is a wonderful way to not only connect with your audience on an emotional level, but also challenge yourself to become a better writer.
You do not have to write about pleasant emotions or common experiences to convey empathy; in fact, I believe it is more revealing to write about obscure moments and elusive emotions. We have all read what you first begin to write. It is what your writing blossoms into that I want to read.
I find empathetic writing, outside of fiction and poetry, is commonly used in music. More specifically, empathetic writing is almost always used in today’s songs. There is a difference, however, between the kind of empathy used in today’s songs and the kind of empathy I am talking about.
Empathy in Today’s Songs
The popular songs of today are so wildly successful because they are simple; the lyrics rationalize every emotion to death. The songs I see trending are sung by people of every age and gender singing, screaming, and crying about love. They sing about heartbreak, toxicity, cheating partners, and insecurity. They sing about self-discovery and empowerment, and all the positive changes they discover in themselves after saying goodbye.
And their audiences relate because they have all experienced those things in their own scarred relationships and interpretations of love.
Empathy in Writing
Creative writing, including poetry, is more complex than today’s music. Good writing does not tell you, so plainly, how to feel. A good piece of writing leaves room for you to feel on your own once you find your own meaning in the imagery and narrative the poem tells.
The difference between most songs and good writing is songs are simple and rely on everyday moments, whereas creative writing is about how the writer’s experience inspires the reader.
At the end of the day, it is easy to write in everyday metaphors and experiences. It is not easy to push yourself beyond what you know and discover the joy of crafting a sentence is as precise and imagist as it is beautiful to read.
It is a matter of skill level and skill level depends on practice. Luckily, practice just takes time and having time depends on what you make time for.
Fun Question: Do I listen to today’s music?
Yes, though I often hear more of the music than the actual lyrics. I listen to today’s songs because the music inspires my body to move. I write because my soul is always moving.
Here is how writing with empathy can help you become a better writer, starting with how writing informs empathy.
How writing informs empathy
Gloria Steinem once said, “Empathy is the most revolutionary of emotions.” I believe writing is one of the rawest ways we experience empathy. By writing about what we know and, more importantly, what we do not know, we build relationships with a wider range of emotions than we might normally experience. This inevitably helps shape our writing for the better.
How to Write with Empathy
1. Write about what you know
Write about the moments in your life that left you crippled with fear. What did fear taste like? How did it feel? Write about how you overcame your fear.
Write about your weaknesses and sins. Write about your prides and successes.
Write about how you hated to go down into your unfinished basement as a child because the air bit your skin off during the winter, and you always glanced over your shoulder for the presence you convinced yourself existed.
Write about how you wrapped your brother’s favorite chicken in plastic and froze her so you could bury her come spring.
2. Write about what you do not know
Most importantly, write about what you do NOT know. Write about the lives you think you have lived. Write about the lives you are dying for and the lives you dream about.
Write as if you are a small-town Nebraska girl. Embody the soldier during World War II. Dare to imagine yourself as an American pioneer. Embrace the sensations of an Italian painter, or the field of view experienced by a Swedish farmer. Let the interesting and unique struggles of the people you become while writing inform and influence your narrative. Let their hopes and despairs, however temporarily, become your own. In this way, you develop empathy and experience emotion new to you.
I believe that it does not matter if you have truly lived the lives you imagine in the flesh. By writing about and imagining people in different circumstances, you put yourself in their shoes. When a person says, “You don’t know what it is like,” I believe that, if you have written emotionally about a similar person and, by doing so, experienced their struggles and evils, you can honestly say, “I do.”
How writing with empathy inspires readers
When you write about what you truly know, readers have the chance to suddenly relate to experiences previously unknown to them. One of the first priorities of writing, I am told, is to educate. Educate emotionally then, if not literally.
How empathetic writing helps you become a better writer
Empathy is the basis of good communication. Because writing with empathy gets you out of your experiences and thrusts you into the experiences of others, you will learn how to connect with a wide range of people, connect with yourself, and deepen your relationship with words and narratives.. These skills will forever inform and richen your narratives.
Writing with Empathy in Blog Posts
Empathetic writing is not limited to fiction, poetry, and prose. Writing with empathy in your blog posts is a wonderful tool to help readers truly connect and experience your words. Here are a few ways to use empathy in your blog posts.
- Share a personal anecdote that sets up the struggle/experience your post will expound on.
- Talk about how the advice you are giving helped you.
- In lists and roundups, tell readers what informed your decisions.
Do you practice writing with empathy? Has it helped you not only broaden your understanding of yourself, but also connect with people more deeply? What is the biggest challenge you face in writing with empathy? Tell me below!
sophienaylor1
As a writer, I find these tips so helpful. Thank you!
ShuCora Walker
Enjoyed reading this and even inspired to challenge myself even more in my writing…..I truly enjoy writing about different experiences.
Jaya Avendel
How wonderful! I am delighted you found this helpful.
Infinite Living
Your post is so compelling and positively stirring, inpsiring and nudging to write from that inner experience of being yourself and others. Being a true writer is a very raw authentic way of being – your post brings out the depth and qualities so beautifully.
Jaya Avendel
I’ve missed you! Delighted to see you here again and may the words flow.
hgamma
We know
us not
which words
the listener
the reader
in his
meet innermost
a story
to tell
without expectation
with all humility
the written
as well as anyone can
like a meal
for guests
to prepare
readandreviewit1
Aw I love this! I think fully embodying your characters is such a good skill to develop and absolutely crucial to establishing that connection. I love the comparison between music and writing too! Thank you so much for sharing Jaya x
Kimberly
“I write because my soul is always moving”. I loved this! There were so many “quotable” moments in this post that really hit home. such a great piece. Always such a pleasure to read your writing.
Lisa's Notebook
I love this post, Jaya, you’re so right. Just because you haven’t experienced something doesn’t mean you can’t write about it. As you say, dare to dream and imagine yourself in the situation you want to share. Empathy is very underrated, I feel 🙂
Jaya Avendel
Thanks for sharing these delightful thoughts, Lisa!
Jodie | That Happy Reader
Great piece Jaya! As a nurse, empathy is also key in my profession. I love how you’ve contrasted writing vs music. Thanks for sharing.
thestoicpadawan
It’s amazing how much this post made me reflect on my own writing. And Ioved how you mentioned that you like to see the writing evolve. Which my writing surely has and I feel I’m still searching and constantly adapting it. I’m not sure how much empathy there is in my writing, but I do try to relate it to my own experiences. So my vulnerability and that I’m using the medice I prescribe.
Great post to keep in my in mind in my writing journey.
Raji (@journeyintofantasy)
Great post Jaya! I completely agree with you that writing with empathy helps in connecting with readers. It is something I try to do in my writing, especially when on discussion type posts.
Rayo
Hnmmmm, great write up Jaya. Writing with empathy is great, it helps the reader connect with your struggles and how you deal with them. Even if you don’t have it all figured out. Sometimes, I think about writing my personal experiences, then I stop. I feel I am revealing too much about myself or maybe I’m just not ready yet.
Jaya Avendel
Ya, I feel you on sometimes being reticent of feelings! It is hard opening yourself to the world.
Ananda
Lovely ☕️
Penny
This is amazing Jaya. Personally, I like to write with empathy in my own posts. I like to share my experiences, my vulnerabilities, my weaknesses and my strong assets too. I feel like in this way, I feel more connected with my readers.” A good piece of writing leaves room for you to feel on your own once you find your own meaning in the imagery and narrative the poem tells.” and I also love how you worded this. Thank you so much for sharing x Penny / http://www.whatdidshetype.com
Jaya Avendel
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
thetravelvine
Writing with empathy plays a big role in my writing style too. I want to be able to tell people about the places I’ve been and inspire them to travel their one day. Sometimes though you have to wander where to draw the line, and not reveal too much, otherwise it might ruin the experience for the reader. Great post 🙂
Jaya Avendel
Yes! Travel writing is especially empathetic, as it all about conveying the wonder of a moment.
haoyando
Hmm, I’ve never thought about that. I’ve always considered writing like venting steam and unloading complaints. And you are right. Empathy is giving a new tinge of enlightenment to the writing.
Jaya Avendel
That air of enlightenment is a nice way to describe empathy!
Keep Calm & Drink Coffee
Thanks Jaya: a very interesting post to reflect on.
I particularly appreciated your analysis regarding the songs, perhaps because music is always a fundamental component for me and therefore thinking through music allows the message to reach me more immediately, which is exactly how empathy should be, right?
Jaya Avendel
Yes, indeed, Claudia! Empathy is immediate when it is felt.
According to Chren
These are really great tips!
Eri Tz
I think that writing with empathy is the only way to writer when you need to put yourself inside a story and live it. Only when you actually live and experience the full emotions your writing becomes true and relatable. Writing without empathy seems like sharing information. Sometimes information is useful also but writing with empathy or reading something that came out this way creates a different kind of connections. Between the writer and the written piece but also between the written piece and the reader. I loved reading this 💜❤️
Jaya Avendel
I love your last reflection on the connection between the written piece and the reader! Thank you for sharing, Eri.
Heidi Bruaw
Very well said. Writing with empathy helps people connect with you and lets them know that they are not alone. Oftentimes, we feel as though we are the only ones who think or do certain things. It is always nice to find out that we are not so different after all. Too many people online try to portray a perfect life and that isn’t realistic. I appreciate when people are real and empathetic. Thank you for this!
rajkkhoja
Hi
I visited your site. So beautiful written you blog. Nice info. I like. Iam so enjoyed.
Becky Ross Michael
Makes perfect sense to me!
Charity
Oh this is such great info! I love this so much. Writing with empathy definitely makes you become a better writer for sure
Unwanted Life
I had no idea if I wrote with empathy or not, but reading this post leads me to believe I do it a lot. Although I could probably do it better with more descriptive feelings and emotions rather than more of a blow by blow approach I think I normally use
Jaya Avendel
I agree 100%! I always find your pieces pack a good punch.
D. Wallace Peach
Wonderful post, Jaya. I particularly loved the section on “write what you don’t know.” My imagination supercharges and I want to dive into those lives and feel what they feel. As readers, we want to care, to become invested in the characters’ lives, and to do that we need to connect emotionally. That requires empathy. Thanks for the post. Have a wonderful Sunday.
Jaya Avendel
I just love that the dive into those unknown lives your mind brings to life is an invigorating process for you! 😍
D. Wallace Peach
Oh yeah. I wish I could follow all those little flashes of inspiration. 😀
michnavs
Lovely post Jaya❤❤
Michele Lee
Jaya, I am intrigued by the title and excited to read this post. When I click on the link to your website, I see formatting issues. I am not sure if the issues are on my end. ? Hopefully, I can read it soon. Thank you.
Jaya Avendel
Thank you for letting me know, Michele! Yes, I have been having some trouble with my site, but believe I have fixed the issue. All appears good!
Michele Lee
You are welcome! It appears to be working just fine now. Will give your post a read soon. Thank you!
Michele Lee
Thank you for fixing whatever was causing the glitch – I enjoyed reading this post. I am swept away with your poetry and your writing about writing offers many nuggets of wisdom. I found your discussion on music interesting. As a lover of music and poetry, I read a great deal of lyrics and, as you mention, notice how simple the lyrics are compared to a well-written poem, and yet songs can evoke so many emotions and memories. It is fascinating. Your tip, “Write about what you do not know” is brilliant writing advice. So often we are told to focus on what we know, and yet writing about what we are not most familiar with can push us to grow in our writing and personally, as it can broaden our perspectives about life. Great post!
Jaya Avendel
Writing about what I do not know is a real joy and challenge for me! Too often I have been told to write what I know, so I love the great steps and opportunity for exploration I take when I fling myself into strange and new territory. 😊
Michele Lee
They are no longer things we don’t know if we take the time (and challenge) to write and know. 😁
Aspen Hite
I am constantly working on this. Bookmarked this to reference later (and again…and again). Thank you for sharing!
Jaya Avendel
What an awesome comment, Aspen, thank you!
Daphny Aqua
I love every bit of this post Jaya, thank you so much for such valuable lesson on empathy and writing with empathy. As much as I could, I’d say I always give my best to write with empathy and I’m learning to be better from all the amazing bloggers here. 😁❤️
Jaya Avendel
Learning is a constant process, Daphny, but it is a truly wonderful way to grow!
Daphny Aqua
It is and the willingness to learn makes one better in the process. 🙂
The Goddess Attainable
Lovely post! I would like to think I write this way in every post but it’s hard to know how others take it. I try to write (and talk) this way because I’ve found over the years that it lets people in. When I share about how I fell on my face, it gives others permission to share that too. And then we both don’t have to feel so lonely. I’ve actually been conjuring up an idea for a blog post about this topic, but I might be a bit more harsh about it 🤣 titling it something along the lines of “stop talking about your perfect life” or something like that. Mostly for this reason, because it shuts everyone out and it’s also kinda boring. I wanna hear about the struggle because I’m struggling, then we can support each other together. Hearing how a person has all their shit figured out just makes me feel shitty. Basically, I feel you and agree with your entire post! You just explained it way more eloquently and politely than me! 🤣🤣🌺🌺☺️☺️💖💖
Jaya Avendel
😂 Honestly, this is such an amazing comment! I am instantly relating to your train of thought and feel you especially on not being interested in ‘perfect lives’. These lines of yours pretty much say it all: “I wanna hear about the struggle because I’m struggling, then we can support each other together.” YES!
The Goddess Attainable
Yaaass it just means so much more in this day and age, and it’s really all I’m interested in. Thank you!! xo
Ingrid
How very true your words are Jaya!
paeansunplugged
Writing about what we don’t know by putting ourselves in other’s shoes is a great tip to be empathetic.
Cindy Georgakas
I totally agree with you Jaya. The same this is happening to me but it sounds like everyone else is getting this so that’s good. When I click on it takes me so I can click on but then I cannot.
Don’t worry too much it’s probably me. 💖
Baby Boomer Super Saver
I love the Gloria Steinem quote you included. If you haven’t read her book, My Life On The Road, I think you would enjoy it. She talks about listening as the first step in connecting with others. Our willingness to listen informs our empathic development. We listen to understand the feelings of others, and write to share a deeper connection.
Lamittan Minsah
I love this, Jaya. I didn’t know until today that writing with empathy is so powerful and helpful as such. It’s one such a great tool to drop into my kit for use during my writing. You’ve thoroughly explore this writing tip. Thank you. Such an amazing and informative post indeed.
Jaya Avendel
Thank you, Lamittan, for such a lovely read!
Lamittan Minsah
Feel most welcome, Jaya my friend.