Somewhere on a Ranch in Japan
Grandma told me not to pick the milky peaches; the ones that ripen without blush. Today I pick one and rogue the cheeks with blood from her wrinkled lips.
In the distance, gunfire, and smoke. The city dreams in brothel stupor. I start a bucket list with my fingernail in the tar dirt.
Photo by Veronika Bykovich
ankevandermerwe
You truly have a gift with words!!! Great post!
The Clockwork Reader
Beautiful Words and amazing picture. Thanks for sharing.
aimsysantics
You are truly gifted with your way with words, I could feel the peach in my hand! I love the way this piece makes me want to know more!
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Aimsy xoxo
The busy shelf
So many contrasting elements ( “brother stupor” came almost as a shock after the liquid quality of the first lines) yet so well constructed and held that they create a tension of expectation. Beautiful, as always 🙂
Jaya Avendel
I LOVE the way you felt the contrast here as a whole! Thank you.
The busy shelf
I just noticed that my auto-correct changed your verse! So sorry I didn’t catch that. I thank YOU for your poetry 🙂
Jaya Avendel
No worries. 🙂
Corinne
Another beautiful piece by you. Could almost taste that peach!
Corinne x
Charity
You are so descriptive when you write! It definitely helps the reader visualize everything perfectly!
Her Digital Coffee
I love your descriptive writing. I could visualize the peach so clearly in my mind! Thanks for sharing!
Raji (@journeyintofantasy)
This is a powerful piece, and an intriguing one! Thanks for sharing!
Selma
What a joy to be able to read these words. Short and yet they hold so much.
That peach is fortitude for the time-piece.
Just so lovely. Thanks so much for sharing this. Stupendously delicious. xo
Jaya Avendel
😍 Thank you, Selma!
Della Driscoll
Your writing always has such power and depth to it, I loved this so much x
thetravelvine
Beautifully written. It reminds me of a Japanese village at the end of World War Two, with the Grandmother and Gran Daughter picking peaches and enjoy them just after the conflict ends. Then the village settles back into normal life, and everyone can start thinking about things that they want to achieve in the future, like writing and completing a bucket list. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Jaya Avendel
Love the way you read this! Thanks so much for sharing it with me.
Melissa Kacar
This such a beautifully worded and thought provoking piece! I am always blown away by the vivid imagery in your words. Thank you for sharing this!
Jodie | That Happy Reader
Another lovely piece Jaya! This one has me pondering “the noise of the city in a brother stupor”. Thanks for sharing.
Jenny in Neverland
Wow this one packs a punch. Wonderful piece, beautifully worded and pieced together x
Lou Farrell
As always I am astounded by your play with words, and this piece of superb writing got to me in a profound way. Thanks for sharing.
Jaya Avendel
Thank you so much, Lou!
A Sustainably Simple Life
The title was so intriguing that I was excited to click on your post! I’m amazed at how far I was transported in such a small span of words. I have so many questions and yet at the same time am satisfied with where the story took me. 🙂
Jaya Avendel
😍 Thank you so much! The way you read this is the way I wrote it.
Giulia
Whoa, this caught me off guard.
summer with monika
“Rogue the cheeks” … wow! how you wrestle words into new startle
Jaya Avendel
Thanks so much for your amazing read!
ellegracedeveson
You really do have such a beautiful way with words! Another beautiful piece. I’m obsessed with your writing! Xo
Elle – ellegracedeveson.com
Eri Tz
I love it Jaya. Yes, it could be the start of something bigger, but personally I like this kind of flash fiction that ends like this and leaves my mind free to think whatever I want. Each story is different in front of a different reader’s eyes.
Thank you for sharing!
Jaya Avendel
Aww, thank you! I feel the same way; I love a more open ending.
Dominic Alapat
A short and beautiful piece in which you cover a lot of ground! Superb writing!
Alicia from Nourishing Foods.Tasty Meals
A intriguing story to tell. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Kelly Diane
Another beautiful piece Jaya. You have such a way with words that is so descriptive, you are instantly taken to that place.
Rayo
Sounds like a mystery to me, it makes me wonder what you writing in your bucket list. Intriguing, love it
Jeff Flesch
You always convey so much through your verse, Jaya. This one is no exception. The feeling and imagery are astounding. Beautiful.
Jaya Avendel
Thanks, Jeff! This is a favorite piece of mine. 🙂
Jeff Flesch
You’re most welcome, Jaya! It’s sublime. 😊
readandreviewit1
This is written so beautifully – I really love your writing! You’ve painted such a vivid picture from just a few sentences which is a real talent. I love the idea of writing the bucket list in the dirt! Thank you so much for sharing x
Caroline
This sounds really good x
Lisa's Notebook
I wasn’t sure whether the blood came from the wrinkled skin of the peach or Grandma – love a good mystery, Jaya! Am also intrigued to find out what happens next… 🙂
paeansunplugged
Enigmatic write, Jaya! I am intrigued by what might happen next.
barbaraleaver
I can hear the noise of the city in a ‘brothel stupor’.
Jaya Avendel
Thanks! I am partial to that line. <3
Ingrid
This is intriguing, Jaya, sounds like it could be the start of longer story…