Nightly

Nightly Pantoum Poem

I have always found the night more beautiful than the day

Only in the inky blackness do the stars shine

Shyly peeking past the domineering sun

Daring to outnumber the moon.

Only in the inky blackness do the stars shine

Skilled flirters

Daring to outnumber the moon

Casting out feminine dreams.

Skilled flirters

The lords of day are sleeping now

Casting out feminine dreams.

Twenty-five pounds of silk slip off a woman.

The lords of day are sleeping now.

Shyly peeking past the domineering sun

Twenty-five pounds of silk slip off a woman

I have always found the night more beautiful than the day.

Photo by Ameen Fahmy on Unsplash

Written for the Experiments in Fiction Poetry Challenge #10: Pantoum.

A pantoum is a Malay verse form, most often imitated in French and English. It consists, traditionally, of four quatrains (four lines) with lines from each quatrain repeating throughout the poem.

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31 Comments

  1. Dominic Alapat

    Beautiful poem! I love the way you repeat lines here! It sounds like a magic incantation!

  2. writtencasey

    “Twenty-five pounds of silk slip off a woman.”
    I read the post several days ago. But, this single line continues to haunt me, in the best way possible. Perfection! Glad you make and share.

    1. Jaya Avendel

      😍 Love that this stuck with you! Thank you for sharing.

  3. A Sustainably Simple Life

    This brought me so much joy! I love night time so much that I work night shifts. I’ll be taking these images of inky blackness and flirting stars with me on my drive to work tonight 🙂
    I’m also fascinated by this type of poem you’ve outlined. Thank you for sharing the structure and type at the bottom. I found that really interesting!

    1. Jaya Avendel

      I always love sharing my loves and the new things I learned, so I love that I passed on something new to you!

  4. mdrnminimalists

    Ooooh! The night has some beauty within itself. Being able to see the stars outside of the city is a whole different feeling. I like that you can focus more on what you actually see without all of the different distractions around. Great job on this piece!!
    Nancy ✨ mdrnminimalists.com

    1. Jaya Avendel

      Thank you, Nancy! I like to think writing is universal and so focus not so much on surroundings but on feelings. 🙂

  5. nickreeves

    Ace, Jaya! Quite ace! Well done!

    1. Jaya Avendel

      Thank you so much, Nick!

    1. Jaya Avendel

      Thank you, Ingrid! Heading over to read now.

  6. Anika May

    Beautiful words, I love the darker tone. Perfectly suits that image too!
    Anika | chaptersofmay.com

  7. Jenny in Neverland

    Oooh this is so beautiful and mysterious and sensual in a way! Love it!

  8. mydreamality

    Wow I am sitting here in the dark before sleep and this is so beautiful ❤️ you make me feel so relaxed!!

  9. akshita bansal

    A lovely read👁🖤

  10. Beat Those Thoughts

    Like other people, this has brought back so many fond and wonderful memories for me, looking at the night sky, up at the stars and just being so appreciative and in awe of it. Your writing is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing x

    1. Jaya Avendel

      The force of your experience star gazing comes across to me! Thank you for sharing.

  11. barbaraleaver

    Lovely piece that draws you into wanting to watch the night sky

  12. glowsteady

    I love this one so much, I’ve always been a night owl so this one brings back a lot of fond memories x

  13. nortoncharity

    Oh I love this one! Your writing is always so beautiful!

  14. Thecaskconnoisseur

    What such a lovely poem Jaya, I bet when you write this, does it bring it to life, do you feel anything when you write it. It’s so lovely.

  15. bournemouthgirl

    This is a great piece Jaya, very well written. Thank you for sharing this lovely piece Jaya!

  16. Keep Calm & Drink Coffee

    Do you feel at ease in writing in quatrains, I mean, creating according to some rules?
    The result is beautiful as usual, I really feel the magic of the night!

    1. Jaya Avendel

      Indeed, I often love writing within poetic rules simply because it is a challenge all in itself! 🙂

  17. Michele Lee

    The mysterious night found under the “inky blackness.” 🖤 Love your use of imagery in this reflective poem.

  18. Unwanted Life

    One of the good things about growing up in a small racist farming town was being able to lay in farmers fields and just star gaze, I miss that.

    1. Jaya Avendel

      I love that this piece brought to life a memory for you!

  19. Ingrid

    I love this, Jaya: sometimes I am guilty of not appreciating the night enough as I just don’t get out there under the stars and look up. But I’ll never forget seeing the night sky in Hawaii. Thank you for joining the challenge!

    1. Jaya Avendel

      Thank you, Ingrid! It is a real joy to join in again and I love that you connected with this piece!

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