I strike
Forth
Into the cruel breeze
Taste pineapple
In the air
Smell coconut in
My heart.
I dare call
Myself
A cocktail
When
I am only the crushed
Ice
In your glass.
Photo by Jonathan Sanchez on Unsplash
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Separated
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Omg, this is a very, very strong poem and definitely one of my favorites! A few months ago I went through a hard breakup and that’s why for me every word here sounds truly powerful. ♥
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Thank you for sharing the personal and deep way you connected with this! Sending much love. ❤
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I love the imagery in this one, and that its ending is so abruptly heartbreaking.
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Thank you so much for sharing your experience reading this!
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Oh wow, I like this one! It’s very creative and imaginative!
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So profound!!!! That’s all I could say. Can relate well to this feeling.
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I really like this one. The last verse says a lot and it’s really relatable.
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This is so cool. I really like this one. A fresh start springs to mind
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I really love the amalgamation of different emotions in this piece. Beautiful and poignant 💖
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Thank you! 🙂
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I love this! It’s so beautifully written! Thanks so much for sharing Jaya! X
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Beautifully written with deeper undertone… loved it!
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This is very different from what you write, Jaya. Love it!
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Beautiful, powerful, soul-crushing, and poignant. I can feel the strength in this as well the vulnerability. Through these facets of ourselves we see and know, how do we appear to others? I think this is what you describe, though I could be wrong. But even then, it’s evocative subsumed in beautiful figurative imagery and rhythm. I love this!
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I love that you found this strong and vulnerable at the same time! Thank you for sharing your incredible thoughts.
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When I’m only the crushed ice in your glass ❤ … wow. I love it! This means a lot for so many people. Thank you for taking a deep thought and turning it into a meaningful poem.
xo Erica
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Incredible post! I love this and it’s so original! Thank you for sharing!
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The smell of coconut is one of the thnigs I love the most in life!
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I think it’s safe to say you’re one of my favourite writers ? 🥺
Beautiful use of imagery.
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Love the imagery beneath simple wording, beautiful poem!
Anika | chaptersofmay.com
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Simple words but with an ocean of meaning… The crushed ice imagery is poignant, yet hard hitting!
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Thank you so much!
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I love the way you used a cocktail as a metaphor in this poem, the feeling you’re conveying through this piece is written in such a beautiful way! Thanks for sharing this!
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Beautifully written, Jaya! Just out of curiosity, why did you choose pineapple and coconut?
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I love the smell of fresh coconut and pineapple always awakens my senses! Somehow the two begged to be included in this poem and be presented in a new way, hence my reverse adverbs. 🙂
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That’s amazing, Jaya! I love the personal touch you added to this piece!
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Sensory awakened with the mention of pineapple and coconut, which is further enhanced with the second crushed ice stanza. Although not actually blended, the two ideas blend well together. Sorry, couldn’t pass on a pun – a poor one at that!
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Thank you, Michele, for your lovely words and well-intended pun! 🙂
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Sounds like you were describing a drink 😂😊. Great poem and nice picture attached 😊👍🏽!
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Well now I want a pina collada. LOL Nice work Jaya!
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😆 Love that you picked up on the drink aspect of this poem!
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This is so full of creative power and unique images! As ever, you say so much in few words 😊
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Thank you, Ingrid!
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Great work Jaya
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I like your attempt to renew the procedures of your own poetic creation. If I’m not mistaken, in this poem I can see the use of some very appropriate new schemes to create highly original images and metaphors.
Wishing you a happy and creative weekend. 🙂
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Thank you so much for your incredible read! I love the way you interpreted this.
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👏👏👏👏Love it
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