My mother plays a recording
The voices of young women
I know only as old
Seep into every crack in the drywall.
Standing lonesome
The ladies in my family
Make their ruby and turquoise
Bronze and feather marks.
Standing together
Painted nails on dreams
Their etchings leave a paved wake for
Future generations to tread.
The brick is unyielding.
You want me to run after you
Snatch at your curled hair
Find warmth under your umbrella
It blocks out the sky.
How dare you
Pass on your shadow to me?
The wise walk in old steps
The foolish walk backwards
I reject the path altogether.
Written for the 11th Experiments in Fiction Poetry Challenge: write a free verse poem.
Photo by Veronika Jorjobert on Unsplash
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Very profound, love this!
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Congratulations once again, Jaya https://experimentsinfiction.com/2020/12/09/eif-poetry-challenge-11-the-results/
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😍
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I love so much about this one. The tone is beautiful, and it flows perfectly. The way you formatted this really added something, too x
Sophie
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Lovely poem! I like the form of it too!
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Good luck to you Jaya, I think we can definitely see the winner it’s right here, this poem was beautiful and so lovely. 🙂
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Thank you for your vote of confidence! 🙏
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Love this, especially the end. I felt that the end resonated with me.
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Incredible…and wow! Such feeling! Not to mention, the format of the verse is aesthetically pleasing. Brilliantly done! 👏💕📝
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Thank you! I had fun figuring out how the words could be arranged to their best effect. Glad that I nailed it. 🙂
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This is such an emotional piece. Sometimes it does feel like past generations have planned out one’s life story but instead one should work on letting go of traditions and just going one’s own way.
Thank you for sharing, I really enjoyed it!
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Your thoughts are the thoughts I was working through writing this. Thank you so much for sharing!
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A wonderful emotional piece – living your own life. The mindful picture of the black umbrella created a masterful piece
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🙂 I love how the need for one word creates the need for another and how unexpected the result can be.
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Oh wow. I really enjoyed reading this, Jaya. Such powerful emotions put together in such beautiful words!
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This a lovely poem Jaya. Good luck in the challenge too x
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Beautiful movement of the words
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Thank you so much! I felt it when I wrote it. 🙂
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Jaya with this form, feelings wave even more, and the poem brings a melody which improves the emotion!
Best compliments!
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Thank you! I had fun playing with the formatting in relation to the words.
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Jaya, love the defiant tone at the end. Beautifully crafted.
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Thank you so much!
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You are welcome.
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Wow: a fantastically freeing poem, Jaya! Thank you for entering 🙏
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It is always my pleasure. 🙂
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