Three Ways To Resolve Tantrums

Children, being children, are bound to cry beyond the voice of reason when they feel particularly hurt of feel as if they are not being treated fairly or are simply not getting what they want.

Tears or a tantrum are a child’s way of expressing emotions they are not equipped to handle any other way.  The next time your child has a fit, try these methods to resolve the tantrum instead of scolding, threatening, bribing, or punishing.

  • Comfort. Try comforting your child, perhaps without words. Pick your child up and hug them or hold them in your lap and rub their back. Let your child shed their tears and quietly suggest something to do when they feel better, like reading a book or playing a game.
  • Connect. Show your child you understand their need for tears and teach them their is no shame in crying. Showing you understand how your child feels is empathy and shows your child you care for them even when their behavior is not desirable. Your child will not grow trying to hide their tears from you because they fear a frown of disapproval from you.
  • Leave. Sometimes a child is beyond talking to, rejects hugs, and screams when touched. When this happens, it can be best to your child the space to calm down on their own. Give your child a few minutes alone before trying to comfort. It may take a few tries before your child is willing to be touched so wait until they are ready.

Check out Three Ways To Keep Calm With Children if you need some ideas on how to keep your head in difficult parenting situations.

Happy Parenting!

22 thoughts on “Three Ways To Resolve Tantrums

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  1. About the Comfort tip I always care to embrace, in the time it became a sort of language for us.
    Also connection is so deeply essential!
    I realize that my main mistakes belong to the “leave” point, many times it is hard for me waiting the more proper moment.
    Thank you so much for these precious words.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. These are such good suggestions! I don’t have children but as a school teacher, this will come in very handy!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. These are excellent suggestions! I raised three children, but recently started listening to a podcast called The Place We Find Ourselves and it has really helped me with identifying my own trauma and healing from it. Ideally parents would do things like you suggested in order to minimize trauma to begin with. Thank you for putting this much needed content out there!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is such helpful post. My daughter is 17 months old and has started having tantrums bless her. Atm she can be distracted but I’m guessing they get worse the older they get xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love that your suggestions allow you to acknowledge that there is nothing wrong with tears/crying – I feel like a lot of parents lash out when their kids have temper-tantrums, trying to end it faster, but all they manage to accomplish is to teach the child that there is something inherently wrong in feeling/expressing these emotions.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think connecting with a child during a tantrum is super important, as it helps validate their feelings! I like your thoughts on this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you; validating a child’s feelings is crucial to understanding their upset, and consequently, helping them find calm. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!


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